Regarding my post about me being the “attention hog,” I often feel left out from my family, primarily when it comes to one on one time. The only time I ever get the “good attention” that I want is on my birthday, because it’s a day all about me.

My birthday last year was awful. My grandfather passed away unexpectedly two days before, and I had been grieving. I had a whole plan for my birthday: I wanted to go to breakfast, lunch, shopping at a toy store, and spend the whole day with my family.

This didn’t happen, as I woke up feeling worried and uneasy. I wanted some alone time downstairs for a few minutes to process my feelings. Unfortunately, my dad came downstairs full of energy not long after I got there. He and my mom wished me happy birthday, and my dad asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast. I said I didn’t, and my dad sternly told me that the family hadn’t forgotten about me and were willing to do anything I wanted to for my birthday. They didn’t understand, The reason I was so upset wasn’t because I felt like they had forgotten about me, But rather the fact that my grandpa wasn’t there to celebrate with me. Honestly, I wasn’t even super close to my grandpa, We loved each other, But often times he would favor me like my dad does and it upset me to the point of not appreciating him as much. I regret not spending more time with him.

After my dad talked to me, my mom asked what the plan was for my birthday. I waffled back and forth, This is something I do when plans change, especially if I didn’t know, they were going to change. My brain wanted to go to all these places, but my body did not. My mom got annoyed, and said that while it was my birthday, She didn’t appreciate me doing the back and forth thing. She went out to the car, As she and my dad, were going to the store to pick up a few things. After she left, I ran upstairs crying. Moments later, my dad came upstairs, and wrapped me in a big, tight hug. I cried to him, saying, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” My dad got emotional as well, as he agreed with me. Later that night, My mom and I got into an argument, and she refused to talk to me the rest of the night. My dad and sister were watching TV together, while I sat in the corner, watching my dad go through pictures of my grandpa to show at his funeral.

The main part of this post, however, Has to do with my mom calling me entitled on my birthday. This was not true at all. What happened was, My friend and I were at a waterpark celebrating (on the day of my grandpa’s passing), and apparently, I didn’t realize how expensive it was. The next day, my mom told me they hadn’t gotten me any presents because they’ve been so busy with my grandfather. I said that was completely fine, as family always comes first. The next day, they got a bunch of cheap presents (half of them were random things found around the house lol). They noticed that I didn’t seem super satisfied and told me that I always expect to get everything on my list (this is somewhat true), and that they spent a lot of money taking me to the waterpark. They didn’t understand, I was very grateful, I was just so confused as to what was going on, And at the same time, still in the process of grieving.

Next year, I plan on being less “entitled,” but also have someone on one time with my mom, as she doesn’t understand how left out I feel, and how I crave some of her positive attention towards my interest. My hope is to have an outing with her, just her and I, one on one. However, I’m struggling with ideas for what to do. I want to keep it cheap (under $200 total) as my waterpark trip last time was over $1000.

The thing is, my mom and I have very little interests in common. She enjoys movie theaters, clothes shopping and pedicures, while I like Arcades, waterparks and shopping for toys and candy. My mom doesn’t like candy as she’s a diabetic, And is not very good at arcade games. She also struggles to walk upstairs for waterslides. We both like amusement parks, but there aren’t any open because it’s too cold.

I’ve thought of a couple ideas of things we both might like. So far I’ve come up with bowling, shopping in small stores (my mom loves those cute little shops), and going to a restaurant together. I’ll be turning 20 in two months, but I act a bit young for my age. If anybody has any good suggestions for activities for one on one time I’d love to know.