So basically I understand that dating a black woman is different than a white woman. She mentioned she feels comfortable when someone is open to learn and takes initiative to learn the societal and cultural things that affect her as a black woman. I don’t know what this means. And the take initiative part confuses me. And I’m not sure how to go about it I’m very open minded to learn but should I probe with questions or more so reading about it myself?
I’d like this relationship to go somewhere (so far had 4 dates) but her telling me that felt deep and I want to make sure I take right steps
I’m in a mixed marriage with a Hispanic wife, I’m white. If this is your first mixed relationship, which it sounds like, be very open about how they are your first nonwhite partner. Be very vulnerable about learning from them (and them you) and making mistakes.
A great way to learn is just flat out asking, “hey as a white person what’s something I should know about you that I might not pick up on”. It usually turns into both sides learning something. Also asking things like “what’s a favorite meal from growing up”, can be an easy way into talking about culture norms without being super forward. If you get to the point of going to a family lunch or event with them, ask “what I can expect from a typical family get together?”
Just remember, don’t stress out about it, it can make things awkward. Be super open about asking questions, but also know when to back off about it. Remember they are just a person from a different background. A southern white person isn’t generally raised the same as someone from New Jersey, yet we don’t usually worry about that. Good luck, mixed relationships are awesome!
What does that mean?
Admit your cultural blind spots, admit you don’t have a lot of experience in black culture, let them know you want to learn but don’t want to seem pushy, let them know you might make some mistakes or overstep cultural norms but you mean no offence and only want to learn etc.