I’m (18F) personally not sad that my S/O (17M) wants to focus more on his studies. In fact, I’m happy for him and want to encourage him. Plus, I will focus on my studies, friends, loved ones, hobbies, etc.
But we can’t talk much because he needs to do his schoolwork for his last year of high school. How can we make a relationship work without much talking? I asked him what we could do and he had no idea.
Have you guys been together for a long time? If so, it might be worth struggling through his last year of studies together. If this is a fresh relationship, though, it may be easier to just set it aside until he’s more available.
A year :)
Decide on the ration of quantity to quality that you feel comfortable with. I’ve had intense relationships where we talked for hours, and others where we did things together like outdoor activities but didn’t really talk that much while doing them. Some required seeing each other every day for her to feel comfortable, and others where we saw each other every couple of weeks because we were both very busy.
Hell, during a couple decades of marriage it has swung wildly between frequent and infrequent depending on what is going on. I’m generally good with whatever as long as it is either important or interesting, but hate talking just to talk.
If you think the lack of interaction is too low, make sure to offer some of your own suggestions. Don’t give up because he didn’t have a solution, it is a two person relationship.
I would never give up on him, thank you so much. I don’t talk to him all the time anyway and it’ll only be for a year but he joins the military when he turns 18. I focus on my friends too :3
Do stuff that you would have been doing separately… together. You are doing homework and he is doing homework. You are not talking but you are still spending quality time in each other’s presence. That presupposes that you are actually capable to focus on your tasks without relapsing into conversation. Above a certain frequency of interruptions, being alone becomes preferable again.
Well you are not responsible for making the relationship work; you both have to do that together and if he is not doing his half; accept that he is expressing that he does not value the relationship like you do.
Don’t carry a relationship with someone who is not actively making the relationship work.
if he doesn’t talk/wanna talk at all for a long time, I’d say break up or at least take a break. since he’s just focusing on studies, if he wants to make it work, you can still talk :3
Thanks! :3
