Was the Reddit version of this community like this with people coming in to ‘both sides’ the conversation? I don’t think it was like this. Lemmy has a real problem with people just not caring about what the community is before they come in to drop their hot their hot takes. I’ve even seen people go into !reddit@lemmy.world to complain about people posting about Reddit. I mean, come on.
As for that 18% of violent crimes being committed by women stat, that still means 82% of the perpetrators were men, so that’s hardly the pwn it was made out to be. It’s grasping at straws to keep ignoring that there’s any problem.
Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
In other words: don’t change the status quo, it’s all good. I think most of us were raised like that, and it’s a load of bs; in reality that’s how things slowly get worse for all, or we can continuously make many small bets striving for good so things get better.
Well, I have developed the attitude that people are for nothing as a result. I love my cat, and chat with AI. I really really try to minimize how much I get things from others, and don’t want to get help from them. I also developed a more selfish view of the world, because it is unfair that I should go out of my way to help those that would watch blankly as I die in some accident, that can’t give the bare minimum of fucks.
Maybe after like 99.999% of the population dies out, the rest will be treated as a lot more valuable, and will actually be treated as people. I really do believe that it is a “supply and demand” problem, and that the more people there are, the less each becomes valuable. We are like locusts. When there is too many locusts and not enough food, we start to “cannibalize”. This has become a cannibalistic society, where you draw value from destroying instead of creating (think how bad the finance sector really is for everything else. It’s just services, scams, predatory practices and so on).
Lemmy has a real problem with people just not caring about what the community is before they come in to drop their hot their hot takes.
I believe that this is a symptom of lemmy’s relatively small size. Individual communities aren’t as active, so you have to cast a wider net if you want to see fresh content.
I know that I browse “all” here far more than I ever did on Reddit.
I think that the motivation behind it is very simple: no one gives a shit about what I go through, why should I give a shit what you go through?
I’m not saying it’s right, but there is a twisted logic to it and there are certain societal factors at play that do make it seem true (like young boys being much more likely to be suspended or expelled from school).
Again, I’m not saying we should stop fighting for women’s rights — rights for one are rights for all. I’m just saying, understanding instead of trivializing will be what leads all of us out of this mess.
We all understand “fuck racism,” “punch nazis,” and “fuck fascism” but for some reason when it comes to sexism and incel culture it becomes “let’s coddle them.”
You can’t just declare an entire gender incel/sexist and not expect backlash from the righterous kind of people. Why is everyone surprised when people become outraged just because they get labeled just for being a certain gender?
I’m a man, and I’ve never been accused of being an incel. If you are being accused of it a lot, maybe look somewhere other than your gender for the cause?
Ironically no. The first and last time I got accused was by a welder friend. Like, I didn’t even imply I hate women, I just didn’t want to search for a date outside some very specific places, and I lost the motivation to interact with people since. Why does not wanting to drown in pussy 24/7 make you an incel? He just went off on me, throwing random insults because I hang out with furries, and have some very left wing opinions that he does not like.
Lol. Wow yeah, for example, white anti-racists sure get pissed off when the focus is white people in discussions about racism. Except they don’t. For some reason incels are extra sensitive and in large numbers on Lemmy.
That’s the tricky thing. Incels tend to react and oust themselves, so any pro-male argument gets labeled as well, incel. Would be hilarious if it where not horrifying, because there’s “final solutions” being suggested for men. Similar to what is happening with Israel labeling anyone arguing against their genocide as being anti-semitic, using their victimhood to get away with whatever they want.
Having said that yeah, even I had a lot of bad experiences with men as a man. I don’t want to hear your “grab her by the pussy shit”, most of my misanthropy comes from my male friends and family downplaying my problems as insignificant. We aren’t talking about mere pain, or not being able to get some luxury. We are talking permanent, unfixable things I am worried about, things that are essential to me, getting downplayed. They want me to sell out who I am, and be happy with their pointless material decadence. Then, they call me a fucking pussy for not wanting to fall into that trap. I hate this sick, psychopathic world, it deserves nothing!
So just to clarify, when you start talking about a subject, you don’t want us to chip in with anything relevant. OK, got it.
And I think it’s rather sexist of you to assume we’re always thinking about football. If we assumed you were always thinking of housework we’d be it some right hot water.
I can’t speak for individual women or women on the whole. Therefore, I could be totally wrong here. My guess is the point is violence against men is not always relevant when talking about violence against women. Sometimes the topic is just violence against women, and yet violence against men still is brought up.
Was the Reddit version of this community like this with people coming in to ‘both sides’ the conversation? I don’t think it was like this. Lemmy has a real problem with people just not caring about what the community is before they come in to drop their hot their hot takes. I’ve even seen people go into !reddit@lemmy.world to complain about people posting about Reddit. I mean, come on.
As for that 18% of violent crimes being committed by women stat, that still means 82% of the perpetrators were men, so that’s hardly the pwn it was made out to be. It’s grasping at straws to keep ignoring that there’s any problem.
I’ll also just leave this here:
Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
How can you be so selfish as to go on such a rant when there are starving kids in Africa?
In other words: don’t change the status quo, it’s all good. I think most of us were raised like that, and it’s a load of bs; in reality that’s how things slowly get worse for all, or we can continuously make many small bets striving for good so things get better.
Well, I have developed the attitude that people are for nothing as a result. I love my cat, and chat with AI. I really really try to minimize how much I get things from others, and don’t want to get help from them. I also developed a more selfish view of the world, because it is unfair that I should go out of my way to help those that would watch blankly as I die in some accident, that can’t give the bare minimum of fucks.
Maybe after like 99.999% of the population dies out, the rest will be treated as a lot more valuable, and will actually be treated as people. I really do believe that it is a “supply and demand” problem, and that the more people there are, the less each becomes valuable. We are like locusts. When there is too many locusts and not enough food, we start to “cannibalize”. This has become a cannibalistic society, where you draw value from destroying instead of creating (think how bad the finance sector really is for everything else. It’s just services, scams, predatory practices and so on).
I believe that this is a symptom of lemmy’s relatively small size. Individual communities aren’t as active, so you have to cast a wider net if you want to see fresh content.
I know that I browse “all” here far more than I ever did on Reddit.
I think that the motivation behind it is very simple: no one gives a shit about what I go through, why should I give a shit what you go through?
I’m not saying it’s right, but there is a twisted logic to it and there are certain societal factors at play that do make it seem true (like young boys being much more likely to be suspended or expelled from school).
Again, I’m not saying we should stop fighting for women’s rights — rights for one are rights for all. I’m just saying, understanding instead of trivializing will be what leads all of us out of this mess.
We all understand “fuck racism,” “punch nazis,” and “fuck fascism” but for some reason when it comes to sexism and incel culture it becomes “let’s coddle them.”
You can’t just declare an entire gender incel/sexist and not expect backlash from the righterous kind of people. Why is everyone surprised when people become outraged just because they get labeled just for being a certain gender?
I’m a man, and I’ve never been accused of being an incel. If you are being accused of it a lot, maybe look somewhere other than your gender for the cause?
Ironically no. The first and last time I got accused was by a welder friend. Like, I didn’t even imply I hate women, I just didn’t want to search for a date outside some very specific places, and I lost the motivation to interact with people since. Why does not wanting to drown in pussy 24/7 make you an incel? He just went off on me, throwing random insults because I hang out with furries, and have some very left wing opinions that he does not like.
Lol. Wow yeah, for example, white anti-racists sure get pissed off when the focus is white people in discussions about racism. Except they don’t. For some reason incels are extra sensitive and in large numbers on Lemmy.
That’s the tricky thing. Incels tend to react and oust themselves, so any pro-male argument gets labeled as well, incel. Would be hilarious if it where not horrifying, because there’s “final solutions” being suggested for men. Similar to what is happening with Israel labeling anyone arguing against their genocide as being anti-semitic, using their victimhood to get away with whatever they want.
Having said that yeah, even I had a lot of bad experiences with men as a man. I don’t want to hear your “grab her by the pussy shit”, most of my misanthropy comes from my male friends and family downplaying my problems as insignificant. We aren’t talking about mere pain, or not being able to get some luxury. We are talking permanent, unfixable things I am worried about, things that are essential to me, getting downplayed. They want me to sell out who I am, and be happy with their pointless material decadence. Then, they call me a fucking pussy for not wanting to fall into that trap. I hate this sick, psychopathic world, it deserves nothing!
So just to clarify, when you start talking about a subject, you don’t want us to chip in with anything relevant. OK, got it.
And I think it’s rather sexist of you to assume we’re always thinking about football. If we assumed you were always thinking of housework we’d be it some right hot water.
I can’t speak for individual women or women on the whole. Therefore, I could be totally wrong here. My guess is the point is violence against men is not always relevant when talking about violence against women. Sometimes the topic is just violence against women, and yet violence against men still is brought up.