I’ll see how I feel with them.

I had a bad experience early on when I was 18 but never bothered to keep going before positive effects happens. Tried 3 different SSRI (the only one I remember is Zoloft). At the time I was misinformed and honestly not in a good place in my mind. I kept compensating a lot through food, sugar, video game.

I still like video games, but even that at some point I’m like “Meh” I don’t feel like playing when it used to feel good. A lot of things are duller.

Transition helped a lot to remove that, feeling like a person again, the person I want to be. I was used to a constant low, a new normal of some sort. But now dysphoria hits hard when you’re hopeful. I gained back 3 kg in 2 weeks and that hits hard (especially since I’ve made extra efforts to loose weight). I really have problem with my weight since teenage years.

Don’t get me wrong it’s freaking good to hope, I wouldn’t go back to the closet and detransition. But fuck it’s hard sometimes.

I know some people that really needed them and it helped.

Honestly I’d rather give it a try while I feel I’m still functional still feeling this is going downhill.

I still can have some fun times, feeling happy too. But it’s hard to do mundane tasks, or even important ones. I should have already made paperwork to get back some money I spent for exemple and keep postponing it. (Like 500 euros which would help)

I felt this way too flat, less real with them. Worst case scenario I’ll try to go through withdrawal. I know which one I would try first and asks the doctor I’m going to see and ask why this one and not another one if she wants to prescribe something to know if she knows what she is talking about.