The problem is when they react poorly to our contribution, we internalize the error as our own flaw rather than recognizing we picked shitty people to socialize with.
The problem is when they react poorly to our contribution, we internalize the error as our own flaw rather than recognizing we picked shitty people to socialize with.
Why doesn’t it work? Did you try it with shitty people? Sometimes you have to try over and over to find people who are not shitty.
There are a bunch of deeper rules that no-one tells you. Everything from timing, to topic taboos, to social pecking order.
There’s a whole world of unspoken social rules we have to figure out. Even worse, most NTs follow them instinctively, and so can’t articulate them. They will instinctively punish you however, if you break them.
The people I end up socializing with are not NT.
Ditto, though it’s a spectrum, rather than an either/or. Now I know (some of) the rules, I can understand why a lot of them exist. The difference is I can also help educate people on them. I’ve also learnt to take it with grace when someone does the same courtesy for me. Us neuro divergents need to have each other’s backs as best we can.
That’s it! That’s the part not mentioned in the meme. We have to find each other rather than keep banging our heads against the wall trying to fit in with NTs. ND friends will politely and discreetly tell me when I broke a social rule rather than loudly make fun of me for it.
https://youtu.be/tFL5GTKwonQ
Find somewhere you can let your weirdness shine and have people be happy for you!
Or, you can describe to them in detail how and why they are shitty and encourage them to become less shitty. This sort of people find this endearing in my experience.
Half of my issue is I forget what was said because Im too focused on responding to that one thing that interestead me about 5 minutes ago, and the topic has changed.
Another is being in a group. Even harder.
Then add being jn a group of people who are speaking a different language that I’m only 60% proficient with… I don’t have a place to enter.
Other times it’s because Im with another ND…
I honestly feel like Im not allowed to speak sometimes.
In a large group there are bound to be multiple NDs. If you all follow the method, you end up in a smaller group with each other. This is ideal.
People have to allow you into the conversation. Most aren’t listening in the first place and are just waiting to speak themselves, often before the first person finishes. They stand in circles tighter than Satan’s butthole. The music is deafening, so if you can’t stand next to the talker, you’ve got no chance. I don’t know why I’m here; I know nobody and nobody seems to want me here.