I struggled emotionally when I left academia for a couple years before and after leaving. Now, years later I’m very happy I left. But I did struggle with re-anchoring my sense of success for a long time. I felt like I had failed because I didn’t stay on the tenure track. But it was fine not being there.

And indoor plumbing!

There’s an underlying care instinct that needs to be activated. Its emotional; you can’t explain it, they have to experience it… There was a post years ago supposedly describing the empathic awakening of a white supremacist, which occurred as he was waiting to harm or harass a father and son on a bus, and the moment of awakening happened as he witnessed the father expressing his love for his son and something clicked for him, probably because he wanted that sort of affection from his dad and never got it.

complex trauma is due to many smaller events occurring over a long period of time, usually during childhood but also during a relationship. “serious” traumas are not necessary

You might have CPTSD in addition to ADHD