It is the only reasonable decision.

If it makes you feel better, I appreciated your opinion.

Well all the pieces are there. However, for me at least, I don’t like sharing. Lol

“or just plainly told him to fuck off.” I don’t know man, I feel like that would get me in more trouble. lol

Ultimately, whatever gets the job done with the least amount of feelings hurt is usually the best solution. Sometimes you have to try the carrot before you try the stick. I have gotten pretty far with that alone, but I think the bullshit we deal with is getting to him a bit too much and the rest of it is self inflicted.

I don’t need to be close with any of my staff, but it helps.

“He needs to learn to find a level of sharing that can keep him safe, because elsewhere in the thread you mention he’s on the verge of disciplinary action.” Agreed, he overshares way too much and it is going to bite him on the ass at some point.

My closeness with my team is unavoidable and is better I lean into it. We work long shifts and I must interact with them constantly. Managing the children as a kindergarten teacher becomes a lot easier when they like you personally.

“But fr, act like he didn’t tell you about Jane and pretend you forgot. It’s probably the only winning move here even if it sucks.” I don’t that will fly sadly. He has mentioned it twice now.

“Posting follow ups as things continue is the ultimate winning move.” You just want to know how this nonsense plays out, don’t you? lol

It is a Sergal and a Protogen. The fact I know without any hesitation for thought is bizarre. lol He is not a bad looking guy, so I am sure he would be fine. Doesn’t make the emotional pain sting any less though.

“He put you in an uncomfortable situation by telling you he’s romantically interested in a coworker who’s been hitting on you. You probably shouldn’t know he’s a furry either.” I was aware he was a furry on his first day with me, he does not hide it whatsoever. It is an open part of his personality that I have just come to accept as it is harmless if not a bit odd. He tends to overshare things so you might be right.

He has taken a strong liking to me for reasons I don’t fully follow other than some of our interests align. I wouldn’t say I discourage it though as I have a discord channel just for our team where people also post memes and things on our off days. I am MUCH friendlier to my staff than your average boss, but I have a strict rule that I will not hang out with any of my coworkers where they cannot all be involved if they wish and I cannot show favoritism. I have only been taken up on that once. I won’t blame him for wanting to trust me with that information, I have been told I look trustworthy or something.

As far as I have seen, she and him are perfectly friendly with each other, now recently working as a team to cause harmless, minor havoc in my life for fun. lol I don’t know the full extent. I do know that they have known each other for a while too and they like to send memes to each other. I just don’t know if the romantic interest is there though. Kind of like having a good friend that is also into you but you don’t share it. I don’t know.

Like you said, I didn’t ask for this information, it was just thrusted upon me. Even if I did nothing whatsoever, the situation would have still existed with or without that knowledge. Not knowing makes it worse to be honest as now I know to not move with reckless abandon.

Looking outside isn’t always an option. Finding the type of person I like is not usually done by looking outside of work unfortunately.

She doesn’t know that I know he asked her out, I would imagine. Would be kind of awkward to bring up as I haven’t even asked her out yet. lol

“Threesome!” Ah yes, the true answer that I was looking for. I should have seen it from the beginning. Haha

Question is, will there actually be one? I do not know.

If I can’t/won’t see both sides of the coin, am I really a good leader? I wouldn’t think so.

“I’m also pretty certain that she was just polite to him and didn’t want to upset him.” That may be the case and it seems that way if she is still happy to talk to me as she does. I have been on both sides of this and it certainly sucks to be in the other position. I am trying to handle this delicately if I can. It doesn’t help that he is constantly trying to hang out with me.

That makes two of us. lol

I am not her boss, we are at a similar level in different departments. I don’t have to interact with her at all if I didn’t want to. If I did date her, the odds of it coming out to him are high. It would just be a matter of when. He would likely notice that she didn’t follow through on their date plans.

It is an annoyance that I have been dealing with. If it happens again, I am likely going to need to make it official as a problem.

Its not my job to save John, doesn’t mean I won’t feel bad regardless. I do care even if I try not to.

If he won’t improve his focus, I might have to cut him. Otherwise he works just fine. You know, you just have to work while at work. Like you said, it is a sad situation.

I appreciate the detailed response. I like all my staff even if they have problems. I try to not terminate people unless its just not working. Workplace relationships at my job are looked at in a more relaxed manner. Jane and I are in similar positions but ultimately have no real need to interact with each other. Breaks could be cut cleanly if done correctly. Of course, life is rarely mess free.

John is a good guy that can do his job well, his traumas and other issues are causing problems. I have seen him looking off into the distance with a thousand yard stare more than once. I am aware that John’s problems are his own, but even if I looked at this as a completely selfish way. I would still have a hard time sleeping at night if I was the thing that sent him over the edge. He hasn’t done anything immediately termination worthy, just lapses in attention and complaining. I have yet to let anything serious slide.

My best course of action that I had considered was staying the course and seeing if a relationship is even worth pursuing in the first place before I get involved in that. If it does though, well I guess we will burn that bridge when we get to it. Workplace relationships are tolerated where I work assuming you aren’t working together or are responsible for them in either direction.

Keeping it quiet is my thought as well, I just don’t know how well it would go as he talks to her a lot and they seem to be friends. He has asked her out and she said yes previously. I think he might notice if she changed her mind.

That is a noteworthy thought. He doesn’t cross me as him knowing or catching her interest when we have all interacted with each other at the same time. Generally when people notice that, they start getting defensive and get somewhat possessive. He was just really happy to share the info like he was gossiping with a good friend.

Fair point. I don’t know if this lemon is worth squeezing or not yet. Only time will tell. She may end up dating him or he may leave all together. I don’t know her well enough yet to make that call. If there is anything that makes sense to me right now, its determining if this is a very juicy lemon without cutting it open.