Pretty unhinged but:

“Girl, are you from Mississippi? Cause you’re the only missus I’d pee on.”

Also bottom of the barrel but if you were to say it with a little spice, any state with two parts can be erotic.

“I want to New your York” or “I would North/South your Dakota” etc.

I’m thinking about Charlie the Unicorn

I’m impressed you got the text to be in some sort of focus

3 times total misidentified as a suspect. Even pinned to a wall with a police car?! Then he still wants to keep policing, like holy moly. I’d have honestly left after the first one. I can understand sticking around if it was incidents directly involving criminals but when it’s the backup that’s getting me, especially more than once, I’m calling it a day.

Any translation of “The Divine Comedy” should be atleast interesting! Possibly the best feat of poetry of our time.

Back when I was an edgy teen, the saga of Darren Shan and the adjacent content of the Demonata were good as far as I can remember. I don’t know if it will hold up for a more mature audience despite that being the demographic.