Look, I had a nice conversation with other people and realize this is pointless and not worth my time, and you especially aren’t. I quit. You win. I don’t care. Bye.

Singing also helps with this too, idk if you enjoy that but even humming works.

I don’t really expect anything from you any which way, I mean that nicely, no worries. Take care

There’s always tomorrow. It’s a good sign you don’t want to be like the person who hurt you and already differentiates you from them as a parent. You are already doing better than your mom by thinking that.

That “worms” feeling and the staying up late is because your brain is using histamine and adrenaline (plus other stuff) to make a lot of neural connections that were already close by. It will mildly restrict blood flow from smaller capillaries too. You can keep that busy or more switched off mentally by exercising and especially doing something that moves your eyes and the muscles under your eyes, eg face yoga. That gets the circulation going back into the small capillaries and helps you reset biochemically. Even just flexing your undereyes (like John Wayne squints) will encourage blood flow in your face and help.

It is a lot of work and pain now, but it is absolutely worth it to see through the bullshit and heal yourself. I am a happier person for it 1000%. It’s worth it to be brave but go slow and don’t push it. Take breaks.

Therapists can be hit or miss (a bad one is worse than no therapist), but you can find one that specializes in BPD that can help guide you (not that you per se have it, but they work with it a lot and can help you understand it really well). BPD, even residual fleas from parents, is VERY treatable with dialectal behavior therapy and talk therapy as long as the person wants to learn and the therapist is adequate (some aren’t).

To be honest, opening this knowledge up can be overwhelming and can take years. Take your time with it. I still get new memories of abuse that my brain had sort of locked away, it gets easier to assimilate over time though once you have a good foundation/framework for the trauma. The 2 best things for you to remember, is that 1) your mom’s traits are hers, not automatically yours or every mom’s or every woman’s, because she has her own mental illness that is just a “her” thing and 2) good rolemodels you had as a kid besides her, even teachers or therapists or TV personalities

He sets up a classic victim narrative due to his sensitivity to criticism there. It’s not reality that society cares to ridicule an average man who isn’t dating anyone - for example there’s not really any asexual men getting super up in arms about this supposed ridicule in general. Society/women are generally angry and upset with men who are shitty to women and then get mad women reject them.

Here, 2:22 https://youtu.be/VUFqhChmHCc

You enforcing this false victim narrative by running defense for him is doing him and you a disservice.

Actually, he was entirely correct to assume that the person responding to him would immediately disregard his social anxiety

Why do you think having anxiety entitles him to control others? Why do you believe that his emotional state should be managed by others? That is not how emotions work, you cannot control other people’s feelings- codependency 101. He’s also playing the victim here. “Not that you’d care” is classic vulnerable narcissist lol.

Do you know this guy or something? Have you ever been an adult male virgin? Social attitudes towards adult male virgins are slightly better than attitudes towards pedophiles. Not having any prior relationships is seen as an enormous red flag the older you get.

Yes, here on Lemmy, where he doesn’t want people to blah blah whatever he said.

I’ve fucked plenty of “adult male virgins,” it is no big deal, I’m experienced enough for the both of us, and I’ve fucked people as Daddy too so theoretically I was a pegging virgin at some point (not that dicks per se make someone a man and penetrative sex isnt the only way to have sex). So yeah I guess it was maybe nerve wracking to be an adult male virgin for me, and approaching women and men is definitely scary the first few times, but I did that too. I understand that there’s a narrative some men choose to build their masculinity around sex and how sex must be - but sex is a unique art and dance between two people. It isn’t a like, algorithmic performance, it’s dynamic. The insecurity around sex is a you all thing, not an every guy thing. You can disagree with it and build a different mindset.

Virgins are not in any way shape or form treated like pedophiles, lol wtf?? That is not true. No one goes to prison or has their right to vote taken away or jobs and housing impacted like felons do, because of being a virgin lol. This is what we all mean by making up a victim narrative compulsively.

Yes, not having prior relationships is an issue when older because there are social skills you need to develop in relationships. Generally if you’ve dated someone else before, you’ll have better conflict resolution skills etc. That is a skill people work very hard towards. It can be okay if the person otherwise shows the ability to have a relationship. Often, things like pretending to be the victim all the time, being hypersensitive to criticism, and having narratives like this about women or dating, show that someone would NOT be a suitable partner. These are skills that can be learned though.

Yeah, you’re not a mysoginist, you’re a misandrist. Same difference.

Ah, okay, so you actually just don’t understand what projection is. Gotchya

Hey, you know it’s really harmful to attempt to diagnose mental illnesses in other people when you aren’t a mental health professional and were not hired to diagnose them, right? It’s super harmful to assert that someone has a mental illness, and then insult them for having the mental illness you just pretended to diagnose.

I’m fine harming men like this and you, they constantly do it to me and have for years - and you did do it to me, so clearly that justification is fair with you. Further, NPD isnt a “mental illness,” like other PDs, it is a belief set where they CHOOSE to believe in delusions, like these victim narratives or misogyny, and the only way to get them to stop and choose to heal, is to point it out and to not cater to them or caretake them. Anything else will make them worse, which harms society and them.

I don’t care about hurting men who openly enjoy abusing me, harming me, and form groups to do so both interpersonally and politically, especially if all I’m doing is laughing at their stupid logic. It’s not like I said you obviously have a schriveled dick that can’t get hard - no insults from me like that, just a descriptive term for what he (and you) are. In fact, I am attempting to be helpful with his issue, because I am directly and specifically telling him what the exact issue is that makes him repellant to women and others. These men have NPD and misogyny - it makes them unsuitable as partners, esp as safe partners for women. What I’m saying is directly related to what he’s upset about. It simply doesn’t cater to the victim narrative.

But yeah, everyone who disagrees with you is a narcissist who’s projecting all of their issues on you, and you’re the only reasonable person here

Strawman. And btw you have to make a reasoned argument to be considered reasonable, by definition, meaning not arguing with fallacies.

I know you are, but what am I?

Gee, except what I said was based on substance, I directly quoted what he said and explained the issue, and I provided links elsewhere that support this:

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901

I also called him a misogynist and I am not a misogynist- so that there seems like I’m just criticizing, not projecting.

Although harboring a grandiose sense of self importance, entitlement and need for admiration, a type of narcissism known as vulnerable narcissism is also characterized by feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and hypersensitivity to criticism

People with this type of narcissism tend to be more vulnerable to rejection and have difficulty forming meaningful relationships. They may also become easily overwhelmed and have difficulty dealing with stress

“A vulnerable narcissist describes someone who is hypersensitive to rejection and extremely self-conscious. They tend to be insecure, as well. They become angry or offended when not put on a pedestal. A person with vulnerable narcissism is highly sensitive to criticism. People with vulnerable narcissism often lack empathy. If they do show empathy it is used to build their own self-importance.”

Hm, that’s him in every comment. I was right. My argument was supported. You just have weird baseless accusations as an attempt to control the narrative so you can continue to get narc supply.

Bonus link on the connection between narcissists and misogynists (ie him, you and his other defenders/flying monkeys): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-020-01193-3

Thanks for agreeing 👍

That does nothing to negate that everyone knows Bateman as a serial killer, and your bad faith appeal to emotion fallacy is pathetic.

Is this your first time on the internet, that you are unaware people can critically think, have opinions, and write them on a discussion board about an original post? That’s the entire format of Lemmy lol

But nah, you just want to be a shithead to women which is what this is actually about. Go fuck yourself.

“You, you, you.” Sure, there’s no projection here lmfao. Vulnerable narcs are honestly pathetic and so, so boring.

What I’m proposing is something like the start of the technology of a dyson sphere tbh, it would be further out into space and ideally only maintained by machine, no humans. If it has issues, the panels can be turned perpendicular to the direction of energy coming from the sun to let in more sun, or fuck, we could just set bombs on it and later remote detonate it if it’s truly a concern.

I think the impact of spreading a bunch of sulfur or other particulates in the air is just a bad idea in terms of health for everyone (a major component of smog/pollution is sulfur, and we know sulfur works bc during covid, less ships running meant less sulfur and heating accelerated) and having a large blanket or shield in space would be less risky in that aspect but yes, more technically challenging. However, Beijing, MIT, Stanford, Japan, and Germany etc should be able to figure it out easily - they pretty much already made a cure for HIV and rabies together and permanently altered warfare w invention of drones and AI.

Okay, but it’s not about the nuance of the book itself, it’s again, that we all know Bateman as a serial killer for the purpose of the meme. Eg when we talk about Frankenstein, the readers know we mean Frankenstein’s monster but everyone just refers to him as Frankenstein himself.

Lol amazing, so much projection and grandiosity in that comment alone. Go away, boring. No one cares.

Thanks for agreeing 👍

Yes, you quit and lost, I know.

No, I didn’t, read again.

No, he didn’t, read again.

I’m not going to cater to you either, just letting you know since you clearly have the same vulnerable narcissism lmfao. Go pound sand

They were completely right, wdym?

Colonial people were slaves to their royalty. Oligarchs to this day still use slaves to convert more slaves over - eg bots are mainly slaves, NPR did a Planet Money episode about this. Obviously bots spread slave propaganda to convert people to their side and also accrue blackmail to force them to their side. Many of our celebs and politicians, people like Epstein, fit this exactly. Epstein wasn’t a free man, even if he was an abusive man and a well paid slave. He didn’t even own many of his own properties.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartolomé_de_las_Casas

They tried to escape this by going to the Americas, a place for refugees and always has been. Many colonists tried to uprise against their captors and join the Native peoples because Native peoples were generally more democratic (keeping in mind we are talking about multiple continents of different groups of people).

https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/history/native-america-white-relations-us-1775-1830

People are explicitly labeled as slaves per the 13th amendment in the US constitution, and we no longer are given due process due to ICE policies. I think you just don’t know what modern slavery is, which is intentional by our slavers.

Here are some docs about various forms:

• Thailand’s Slave Fishermen
• Maid in Hell: Why Slavery?
• Slaves of Dubai
• Slavery by Another Name
• Dying for Gold
• Cobalt Red
• Whore’s Glory
• Half the Sky
• Children Underground
• Link about organ harvesting in kids: https://youtu.be/xrQ-9eODqy0

Yes, you quit and lost, I know.

Projection on your part. But I accept your loss.

Ps it’s called stonewalling and that’s not what I’m doing, I am simply supporting my argument and you have no rebuttal and want to externalize that onto me to control me

It is not my job to manage his feelings. That’s caretaking a narcissist and makes them worse. It’s ok to communicate (ie “I do not care”) and put up boundaries (I won’t respond). Further, his main concern was that him not having a girlfriend makes others label him as weird - no. It’s that he himself is weird, not anything to do with women. So no, I did nothing to “confirm” his false beliefs, it is not my job as a woman to caretake or cater to his fears or perform emotional labor for men. Grow up.

But nice attempt at DARVO there