“So basically I understand that dating a black woman is different than a white woman.” Ngl this is a really weird sounding statement, and in fact this whole thread and your discussion with her seem a bit strange. In my experience, just not making a big deal about this sort of thing is usually the best way for it to be handled. To whatever extent possible, you do not want the fact that your relationship is interracial to be a property of the relationship that is at the forefront of either of your minds. But of course there are practical realities that affect this. But within you two, internally, it should not be a huge deal.

She’s probably just trying to subtly make sure that you’re not racist at a minimum and are also woke (and I mean that in the most positive and earnest sense of the term).

Probably as long as you fundamentally see black people as intrinsically equal human beings and don’t have any weird or stupid stereotypes (so I would just say no stereotypes) and listen to her when she tells you stuff you’re fine.

It’s like the same phenomenon as how people will get all antsy about dating a woman in general because they think women are some alien creatures. Don’t see her as an alien and that’s like the majority of the risks resolved.

But the nuance comes in recognizing that different demographics DO really have extrinsic differences that, by virtue of being extrinsically created, affect different members of that demographic to a different extent. Not all extrinsic differences are negative ones, for example cultural differences are also extrinsic to someone’s race. But I wouldn’t recommend trying to learn about like African culture and then talk to her about it, for instance, because it’s a very diverse country, and you don’t even know if she considers that part of her culture or not.

So pretty much just be open minded and don’t be weird about it.

Now, I will say, and I understand that this is not what you’re asking about, the way that she expressed that is a little bit annoying to me. Very vague and beating around the bush. She could have communicated it better, but also you could have communicated your confusion better to her. In fact, asking her to elaborate on that certainly qualifies as showing initiative. So I would say that you should ask her some more questions about it.