(as an aside before I start this comment, me and my partner are both exceptionally blunt on all accounts)
I’ve mentioned to my partner before that he’s not the kind of attractive I expected to wind up with, but that I’m pretty sure most of that is rooted in daddy issues, so it’s probably for the best.
I’ve also told my partner that when he makes that very specific devious chuckle (that deep genuine one it’s hard to fake like when I send him a really good meme) sometimes I can feel my vagina make a little sploosh of goo.
he’s not the kind of attractive I expected to wind up with
I can’t tell if this is “I’m batting way out of my league” or “dude you’re ugly as sin but you look like my dad so I’m into it.”
I’ve also told my partner that when he makes that very specific devious chuckle (that deep genuine one it’s hard to fake like when I send him a really good meme) sometimes I can feel my vagina make a little sploosh of goo.
Average in a way I wouldn’t normally have chosen if I hadn’t gotten over my weird hangups.
the chuckle needs lube to continue existing
The Southpark Giny Tingle (from “The Ring” episode, if I remember right).
Related: I know that incest is currently a popular fetish, but I discovered a long time ago that if a girl looks too much like my sister its an immediate turn-off. It did take me a little while to connect why I found so many models, who seemed to be popular, so unattractive.
I don’t think I’ve ever meet anyone who looks like mom, so that hasn’t been an issue. My wife resembles no-one in my family.
Freud claimed all men want to marry their mothers. I haven’t found this to be commonly true, and now I don’t trust “daddy issues” being common, either.
I even find it weird if a woman has the same name as my mom. She doesn’t have a very common name luckly
Yeah, that would probably geek me out, too. My mom’s name was not a popular girl’s name for my generation, thankfully.
It did take me a little while to connect why I found so many models, who seemed to be popular, so unattractive.
Humble bragging about your sister…
I had an irrational hatred for Thandie Newton and I didn’t realize why until someone pointed out that she looks like my birth mother.
Ok, but: your mom’s a QT.
Maybe but she’s an abusive psychopath.
Oh, sorry about that.
Me too.
Yeah, but the crazy ones are the best in bed. Have you tried fucking her?
not worth it IMO
Daddy Issues isn’t the same as “marrying your mother”.
I’ve always heard the former was about having a poor relationship with your father, and the latter about whatever your maternal relationship was like, good or bad.
It’s not, the Oedipal complex is a correlation. The “marrying one’s parent” phenomenon most certainly has a psychological causality somewhere, but it’s certainly not due to a generally applicable Oedipal complex.
A concrete example, the only relatively comparable thing I’ve had to deal with was tending to select romantic partners based on how familiar my dynamics with them were to me. Having lived in an unhealthy familial environment and with relatively few childhood friends, the only familiar I had was belligerent and punitive. Otherwise, none of my parents, or even from my extended family, are my type. I’m saying this in a literal sense. And this is against a constant, solid background of “like…no, they’re family.”
I love Lemmy. It’s a place where you can post a comment and not know if you’re going to get a vitriolic anarchist taking exception to how you said something, or a detailed, clinical clarification of a point.
On Reddit, you get only the first thing. I live for the second.
Isn’t it just dead simple in that a mother is caring and gives you the feeling of safety, generally speaking, so you look for that in a partner too?
So it’s not that you want to fuck your mom but you look for positive traits in a partner that you parents instilled in you.
Agreed, it’s that familiarity I referenced! But talking from Freud’s perspective, “if it isn’t about sex, then get out of here” (paraphrasing):))
Daughters marry their dads equivalents. (But only if they are in a good relationship to their fathers).
Many, many victims of domestic abuse would disagree, I’m sure!
Would you say that domeatic abuse victims have good relations with their abusive parents?
blahaj.zone
what did you expect?
I think they were saying that “good relationship with dad” isn’t a prerequisite for “marrying a dad-alike,” that sometimes “bad relationship with dad” also gets “married to dad-alike,” they’re just both bad guys in the latter case.
Like, a woman who’s dad beat her/mom as a child can grow up to marry a husband who also beats her/their child too, and in that way she has married someone like her dad.
I don’t think they were claiming that being abusive is good, nor do I think that’s the general consensus on blahaj.
Agreed. Maybe I didn’t think about all possible variants of my introductory statement.
(But only if they are in a good relationship to their fathers).
…
Yes, that’s what I was referring to, it’s not exclusively women who’ve had good relationships with their fathers, some go for their aggressive and violent father’s look-alike.
