This is more in line with why non-binary came about. Though, broadly, it was always a rejection of the social or cultural concepts of gender—of which it was just the typical two. Somehow this attracted the idea of wanting to still have a gender (for some reason), just not one of the two existing ones. It has more practically evolved to this now.
Over time, those that once were non-binary have to explain themselves, which I find fucking ironic.
Ya can’t just say, “I don’t have one” or “I don’t align to any” because it’s a required field full of nonsense you don’t follow and non-binary means something else now or at least opens people up to assuming you’re one of many things you obviously are not.
Yeah, that’s how it rolls now, but you won’t find that on a form.
And even if it were, of course, “You identify as an agender. What’s that?”
“I’m not “an agender”, it’s a position. I just don’t care for them. They don’t matter or mean anything.”
“So like a non-binary?”
“Yeah… Well, no. Look, I really don’t fucking care. It’s an identity thing so it’s all up to your perception of me anyway. Whatever first pops in your head, just go with that. Just don’t be surprised if I do things that don’t fit into the social stereotypes of it or any of the other ones.”
“I’m confused.”
“Uuuuuugh. I’m just me, okay. Fuck, just imagine it’s N/A and we’ll move along… See, this is why-… ugh, nevermind.”
This is exactly my approach to gender. I’m glad it matters so much to some, and that it can bring them great joy. To me it’s just not really a consideration.
I say he/him because it’s easy and problem free, but you’ll never view me with the same lens I do anyway, so it doesn’t actually matter. I know who I am.
Maybe it’s time to stop giving so many shits about what is in people’s chromosomes, between their legs, or what they prefer to fuck.
This is so insanely engrained into modern society. If I see a bald little baby and tell the mother “he’s very sweet, what’s his name?” she may scowl and say “Her! It’s a girl!” taking my polite gesture and souring it as if I did something offensive. How in the world did we end up caring so much about this? Obviously that situation is an easy mistake to make and bears no consequences whatsoever. Alternatively if you say" what’s it’s name" this is viewed as dehumanizing, you really can’t win. Kid hasn’t had a chance to even decide it’s gender and we are all up in arms about what people call it as soon as it’s born.
If you want to read something deeply uncomfortable about how language shapes society and how blind we are to the pervasiveness of gender: I think about this essay a lot (CW. Predudice)
::: spoiler
So I probably don’t need to explain that it isn’t about racism, it uses racism to explain how gendered our language is and how gross that looks to anyone who hasn’t become numb to it over a lifetime. But some people I have shown this too have been very confused
:::
I am extremely confused. Thank you. I have been studying language, in particular English, mostly, but there a bit of a few others, in different ways than most do. This opens a whole other (set of) dimension(s) into my understanding that is exactly the sort of thing I’m actually studying.
Language isn’t actually what I am focusing on. It is but yet another carrier of mostly, somewhat, in some ways, partly, whatthefuckever, “invisible” dimensions.
I have a friend that’s explained to me, you know times are good when we’re battling each other over social issues like gender.
Huh? How?
Well most of us are healthy, have homes to live in, there’s no war, economies are good, but our tribalistic nature needs to tear down others for something. The better things are the more absurd and hopeless society will seem.
Maybe we do need another world war or something… Kind of like a weird fucked up way of how we get all our pepped up frustrations out and progress forward again with post-nut clarity.
That’s subjective to the society, culture, and/or timeline. But there definitely hasn’t “always been”. At one point there were none. We’ll get there again.
Gender is a social concept. Even the word originates from linguistics, not social studies. Some cultures have nonbinaries, some cultures have in-betweens, some cultures have two-spiritied people.
![[x]](https://quokk.au/static/media/posts/cz/Im/czImkUVpEREhWuT.jpeg){kind=link}
This is more in line with why non-binary came about. Though, broadly, it was always a rejection of the social or cultural concepts of gender—of which it was just the typical two. Somehow this attracted the idea of wanting to still have a gender (for some reason), just not one of the two existing ones. It has more practically evolved to this now.
Over time, those that once were non-binary have to explain themselves, which I find fucking ironic.
Ya can’t just say, “I don’t have one” or “I don’t align to any” because it’s a required field full of nonsense you don’t follow and non-binary means something else now or at least opens people up to assuming you’re one of many things you obviously are not.
N/A would be great.
Agender?
Yeah, that’s how it rolls now, but you won’t find that on a form.
And even if it were, of course, “You identify as an agender. What’s that?”
“I’m not “an agender”, it’s a position. I just don’t care for them. They don’t matter or mean anything.”
“So like a non-binary?”
“Yeah… Well, no. Look, I really don’t fucking care. It’s an identity thing so it’s all up to your perception of me anyway. Whatever first pops in your head, just go with that. Just don’t be surprised if I do things that don’t fit into the social stereotypes of it or any of the other ones.”
“I’m confused.”
“Uuuuuugh. I’m just me, okay. Fuck, just imagine it’s N/A and we’ll move along… See, this is why-… ugh, nevermind.”
This is why i just say ‘queer’ and tell people they dont need to know and dont have time for the truth. Sometimes i add ‘which lie would you prefer?’.
Perfect.
This is exactly my approach to gender. I’m glad it matters so much to some, and that it can bring them great joy. To me it’s just not really a consideration.
I say he/him because it’s easy and problem free, but you’ll never view me with the same lens I do anyway, so it doesn’t actually matter. I know who I am.
Maybe it’s time to stop giving so many shits about what is in people’s chromosomes, between their legs, or what they prefer to fuck. This is so insanely engrained into modern society. If I see a bald little baby and tell the mother “he’s very sweet, what’s his name?” she may scowl and say “Her! It’s a girl!” taking my polite gesture and souring it as if I did something offensive. How in the world did we end up caring so much about this? Obviously that situation is an easy mistake to make and bears no consequences whatsoever. Alternatively if you say" what’s it’s name" this is viewed as dehumanizing, you really can’t win. Kid hasn’t had a chance to even decide it’s gender and we are all up in arms about what people call it as soon as it’s born.
If you want to read something deeply uncomfortable about how language shapes society and how blind we are to the pervasiveness of gender: I think about this essay a lot (CW. Predudice)
https://www.cs.virginia.edu/~evans/cs655/readings/purity.html
Spoiler for after reading:
::: spoiler So I probably don’t need to explain that it isn’t about racism, it uses racism to explain how gendered our language is and how gross that looks to anyone who hasn’t become numb to it over a lifetime. But some people I have shown this too have been very confused :::
I am extremely confused. Thank you. I have been studying language, in particular English, mostly, but there a bit of a few others, in different ways than most do. This opens a whole other (set of) dimension(s) into my understanding that is exactly the sort of thing I’m actually studying.
Language isn’t actually what I am focusing on. It is but yet another carrier of mostly, somewhat, in some ways, partly, whatthefuckever, “invisible” dimensions.
I have a friend that’s explained to me, you know times are good when we’re battling each other over social issues like gender.
Huh? How?
Well most of us are healthy, have homes to live in, there’s no war, economies are good, but our tribalistic nature needs to tear down others for something. The better things are the more absurd and hopeless society will seem.
Maybe we do need another world war or something… Kind of like a weird fucked up way of how we get all our pepped up frustrations out and progress forward again with post-nut clarity.
There have always been more than two genders, there were never two existing genders
That’s subjective to the society, culture, and/or timeline. But there definitely hasn’t “always been”. At one point there were none. We’ll get there again.
Gender is a social concept. Even the word originates from linguistics, not social studies. Some cultures have nonbinaries, some cultures have in-betweens, some cultures have two-spiritied people.