The Boring Restaurant

“They call it ‘The American Dream’ because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

“Fetch the stick, stupid!”

Aka 6 “knobs,” according to Gordon Ramsey.

Whenever my dog used to smiled like that, he was two seconds away from puking all over the carpet. Which makes sense here, considering this good doggo is being compared to that Nosferatu.

“It isn’t a ‘war crime’ the first time.”

Got banned from that six-sided ursine comm for saying this exactly. Somehow, rape and suicide still exist. Are they even fucking trying‽

“You shouldn’t have said that. Now, everyone’s laughing at you behind your back. And there’s a spider in your hair.”

Ah yes, when i see Freddy Mercury or Magnum Pi, all i see is creepy redneck.

Balls.

“Food trends” kill me.

Mmmm! Know what goes really good on your bowl of steaming rat assholes? Cobwebs. Have you had your bowl of steaming rat assholes and cobwebs today?

Is anybody that engages in “a little recreational reading” really that stupid…?

Don’t ask it silly questions, it won’t play silly games…

Does he like his toast done on one side…?

She’s not American. They use different terms for things around the world.

E: ducking autocorrupt

You go that way. I’ll go home.

I’m coming!

I’m coming!

If there was a god, she went to the store for a pack of cigarettes a loooooooooooong time ago.

A vote for Bart is a vote for ANARCHY!