They aren’t eating they’re making out look at the proboscis

Yeah if the clarinets are gonna catch strays why not make him a centaur

Also where your social network is

No that’s just how I live

It’s a collectors edition too

If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.

He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable

You know I was finding it interesting that most (but not all) of the planes at the military air show showed up on flightradar24. We got to watch half of it from the car on the drive up, as it’s tradition, so the app let me be a much poorer quality announcer.

The air force base I live by does not do a lot of helicopter anything. I’m bored as fuck by C5s but a squadron of chinooks sounds cool to watch. Never quite grow out of that.

Oh brother

At lesbian board game night, whenever we’re playing a game with leather as a resource they give it to me and start calling me leather daddy. I may have accidentally brought it upon myself.

hey hey

so for sake of the moths we should illuminate our porches by candlelight?

oh thank you i was worried i was gonna have to throw hands at BurritoMart and BurritoMart is about love.

pfff, look at this sucker planning on using his lungs ever again like a chump

They can quit any time they want we just don’t want them to

Been there. One month my mother brought home tabasco peppers. They, uh, tasted just like that. If I didn’t have, 12+1+5+3+4+3 uh 28 different hot sauces and mustards to tide me over until we could go to the store

Edit 29 forgot the Vidalia onion/cascabella one

Your ride will cost $150 and take 20 minutes. If you would like it to take ten minutes, please pay an additional liver.

is it that she’s sexy and that’s weird or is the way she’s sexy weird because those are different things

songs have been 2-3 minutes for decades now