“Why do we even have that space suit?”

H20?

I’m not sure how you’d bond twenty hydrogen atoms together, but that sounds… particularly explosive.

It’s almost like having a single point of failure, putting your entire digital life and livelihood into the hands of a single uncaring corporation, is a bad idea or something. wild!

keep going, I’m almost there

I know this is a shitpost, but

“Your details are […] not stored”

“We’ll search for you in our database of breached personal information”

It’s not different at all, is it Steve?!

Because “brain chip that reads your mind to help with depression/bipolar disorder” is barely a hop, skip and a jump from all sorts of fun dystopian nightmares. On the tame end, something that already happens, is the makers of implantable devices going out of business; and then you have unsupported, degrading medical hardware implanted inside you that, if it malfunctions or breaks, you’re just stuck with and can’t get it fixed. Bad enough when that malfunction is with a vision- or hearing-related implant, but a brain chip could fuck up all sorts of things if it goes wrong.

On the more fanciful, yet-to-be-realized end of possible terrifying outcomes, the sky’s the limit – mind-reading, malware, rudimentary mind-control, the list goes on. I realize that sounds very sci-fi and like I’m a paranoid crackpot, but this is actually far more viable than you might believe at first. If they’re actively already trying to make them effective at treating mental disorders, if they are indeed effective, then that doesn’t require much further tweaking to go from treating them to causing them.

Truthfully, BCIs have the potential to be so dangerous that they either should not be developed or should only be developed with open standards and user control in mind. And absolutely not developed by for-profit entertainment companies.

Truly heartbreaking.

[jaunty guitar begins]

authentic first-hand piss drinking experience, the kind of content that only lemmy could deliver. excellent

Right? I’m just saying, the chart is clearly incomplete, we can make this funnier.

Needs to have a photo of Vanilla Ice on there somewhere, maybe Ice Cube too

I’ve had people tell me Reagan, and other people tell me we’ve sucked since FDR died. I’m tempted to believe them, with what history I know.

The more they alter, the more chance it is they fuck it up somewhere.

this is the dumbest timeline

this has been the dumbest possible timeline for longer than you or I can probably remember. I remember noticing the difference between pre-2015 and post-2015, but I’ve been assured things have been imploding consistently since at least 9/11 and definitely by the 2008 financial crisis.

In other words, it is entirely possible, yes.

there is no possible way “100% democrats in the files” just goes without any pushback, so yeah either they’re totally unredacted and unaltered (likely, comes with its own set of problems) or the democrats absolutely will ratfuck the others.

personally I think the most likely outcome is that Trump’s name appears far fewer times than we expect (after they’ve, yanno, had their way with the files). Maybe a couple instances to satisfy the public that he was a skeezy fuck, but anything that implicates him in something serious will be changed to point to someone else’s name. Usually a Democrat, maybe sometimes the RINO of the week. You’d then just have to make sure every document agreed with every other document – say, dozens of people working in teams for a few months could get that done. Say, weren’t a team of FBI agents doing exactly that not too long ago? Sorting through all the files, looking for every instance of Trump’s name? Wonder what’s up with that.

That would be the smartest way to alter the files. Leave everything else untouched, just make sure the golden orange boy old fuck isn’t smeared. Are they smart enough to do that? Possibly. Maybe. Hopefully not, because the “100% democrats” shitshow would be hilarious to watch

AdNauseam + PopUpOFF + CanvasBlocker + Bypass Paywalls Clean

“No, I don’t want ads. No, I don’t want cookies. No, I don’t want to even be asked about cookies, or subscribing to your newsletter, or to sign up for access to this article. Fuck off.”

the fact that “what has bill clinton done with his penis” has been a relevant, current-events political topic twice in thirty years is what kills me.

“…but I don’t want to throw out capitalism.”

Journalists should be funded by the public, as they perform a public service, while simultaneously they should not be required to report favorably upon the state. We just fail to do so because it’s more profitable for the old money that own the current media empires (and Larry Ellison), with the added benefit that the general public are treated like mushrooms – feed them shit and keep them in the dark.