I guess he’s not the Top… uhh… Tío.

Justified Homicide

He’s an angry moth!

Management: if they hit the numbers while taking extra breaks, that means we could raise the numbers higher and not have to pay them more?

Also management: We need more temps, our turnover rate is terrible! No one wants to work anymore…

Wait… So I’m not allergic to radiation!?

Superpowers here I come!!!

Ok, so prove all the other plants aren’t aliens?

Cool things to ask for for Christmas:

• Socks: I wear tall boots & long pants for work, so no one knows about my Deadpool/Pokemon/flying taco socks, but it puts a smile on my face. My sister got me a pair of socks with a sad sock sitting on the stairs that say “worst gift ever.” I cried laughing.

• Hobby accessories: You have your guitar, straps, strings, and picks are all perishable items that it’s good to have a backup for.

• Shared experiences: ask for a group trip, a local excursion, or a board game to play together.

• My favorite - the themed surprise: instead of asking for a specific thing ask for “Something to make me laugh” or “Something nostalgic” or “Something I’ll use daily” or “Your favorite recipe and the ingredients to make it”. This makes shopping for / creating the gift as much fun as receiving it, since everyone will interpret the instructions a little differently and the possibilities are endless. This one’s fun for a themed gift exchange for a secret Santa as well.

I feel that someone with a large, heavy club could solve a few of our issues. Caveman tactics still work!

You could get 2 or 3 duals, depending on colors, and have a bit left over for sleeves.

But not gay… The tips aren’t touching.

I remember a bit of Bean Jean overlap, and I’ve seen a bean lamp recently, but no jean lamp yet.

That’s why you can’t take your eyes off the snail!

So the Bible is inappropriate for all students and there’s several parents I need to report…

Yep – It’s a gift & a curse.

I find it super easy to put myself in other people’s shoes and see what they’re going through, but I have a hard time expressing my own feelings. It’s turned me into a bit of a loner, but I do have a small circle of people I know & trust that I can be myself with.

I have my moments, just like everyone else, but I have more good ones than bad ones. I do have a genuine love for knives though now, and still don’t have a favorite.

I keep seeing videos of a guy who buys TSA confiscated knives by weight & laughs at them for sucking, and I laugh harder because my angsty teenage self collected a lot of them back in the day.

My knife collection began because I was suicidal.

To keep myself around I got a bunch of knives so I wouldn’t pick a favorite and “dissapoint” the others.

…I got better.

No, that’s organism. It’s actually a play by Shakespeare.

As a man, existing anywhere in public alone with my daughter got me all types of gatekeeping questions and comments. “Giving mommy a break?”, “Must be your day to babysit…”, “Oh is it your weekend?”

I took to telling people that my partner died in childbirth to shut them up. Rude & over the top? Probably, but I shouldn’t have to defend being a parent.

Someone saw the meme about the screenshot folder that you never look in, decided to clean theirs up, and now we get an extensive anthropology lecture on pop culture, the internet, and the human psyche.