When I was younger, I believed that if a woman was raped, it was her fault for what she was wearing. My highschool friends called me the most unempathetic person they’d ever met and I was proud of that.
Thankfully I’ve turned right around on all that and learned empathy. I’m ashamed for my younger self, but I know they were just doing the best they could with the very few tools they were given.
I am in the same situation. “When I was a child I was the most unhinged asshole I know” is extremly common in this community and I have no clue why.
When I was a kid I told a Special Ed teacher who I trusted that one of the gym teachers was having sex with high school students and grooming girls as young as 14.
Rather than report this to the authorities he told the gym teacher what was said. The next day the gym teacher (who was a big former semi-pro football player or something like that) cornered me and intimidated me into shutting my mouth.
2 years later a former student confronted the gym teacher’s wife. In the fallout his behavior came to light and he left our school and went to teach a few towns over. The Special Ed teacher joked about it after the fact.
It was probably 20 years before I fully understood the scope of how disgusting that situation was.
My knife collection began because I was suicidal.
To keep myself around I got a bunch of knives so I wouldn’t pick a favorite and “dissapoint” the others.
…I got better.
Out of all the reasons/sotires I have heard about why people didnt kill themselves this is by far the most absurd.
You know, that is one of the most creative safety solutions I have heard. Glad you came up with it (probably due to still wanting to fight). The fight never stops, hope you are still doing well.
I have my moments, just like everyone else, but I have more good ones than bad ones. I do have a genuine love for knives though now, and still don’t have a favorite.
I keep seeing videos of a guy who buys TSA confiscated knives by weight & laughs at them for sucking, and I laugh harder because my angsty teenage self collected a lot of them back in the day.
I love this so much, is it that you have a lot of empathy?
Yep – It’s a gift & a curse.
I find it super easy to put myself in other people’s shoes and see what they’re going through, but I have a hard time expressing my own feelings. It’s turned me into a bit of a loner, but I do have a small circle of people I know & trust that I can be myself with.
I kicked a decrepit german shepard to death.
WHY?!
Wasn’t my fault really, the owner had trained his dog to be aggressive and I was deathly afraid of dogs. The animal escaped the leash and charged me, I don’t know if it would have bitten me, but I instinctively kicked it in the face… I’m an extremely overweight guy and was scared shitless, that’s propably why my leg had some serious power behind it, so I kicked that poor puppies snout straight into its braincase.
Still have nightmares of that day. Good news is: I have sinced learned to be less afraid and love dogs now. I even regularly put my hand down the throat of a huge japanese Akita Inu who loves me to death and pull on his teeth in play.
Theres a lot of shitty dog owners out there. Also, glad you’re able to work through the phobia.
