wow, to be honest I didn’t really expect such a thoughtful and non-condescending response to this since it really is the same old unrequited love trope lol, I really do appreciate you for this!

your comment got me thinking and reframing the situation for myself, and you caught me on the pedestal thing. you got that to a T and i didn’t even realize it was something I was doing, I guess I thought after enough experiences that I am immune to the whole rose-tinted glasses thing. just letting this happen but being aware of it will go a long way, it’s the same thing that helped me with my drinking (almost 1 year dry) and it will be a whole lot easier to let the overly positive thoughts about her go by than it is to let overly positive thoughts about booze go by without falling for it.

you also got me thinking too, I think my whole idealizing her thing is probably, and it’s only occurring to me now, that I look up to her for her qualities and maybe I want to be as warm and sunny a person myself. Maybe part of it is also that she makes it hard for me to be cynical, which come to think of it there were exactly three guys in my life who all had this same effect on me and I fell pretty hard for all three but got over each relatively easily. it seems a lot easier to get over homo crushes than hetero crushes, playing off what you said in the first paragraph, probably because society doesn’t just lack respect for platonic hetero relationships-- it just doesn’t acknowledge that they’re possible.

And as far as my hobbies and interests go, I stay pretty busy with guitars, restoring/repairing them, building them (as slowly as I can afford the parts-- a floyd rose trem alone is more than half of my paycheck) and playing of course :) actually it could probably be said less than half-joking that I’m in a more devoted relationship with one of my basses than i ever could be with a person lol. but besides that I’m into working out and hoarding music. I just don’t enjoy leaving the house except for hiking in the fall and winter. I realize you’re definitely right about me being dissatisfied though because this is all at a time when I’ve been settling into my new apartment and adjusting to a better position at my job (plus there’s always the news I keep trying to avoid), I don’t think I’ve admitted to myself I’m pretty overwhelmed and been unable to cope, for real only last week I was able to get my bass out of storage and I’ve been so exhausted I’ve been skipping workouts left and right. so it would make sense that my brain is wandering a lot and I’ve been feeling pretty low.

I want to thank you again for your response, and apologize for rambling, but you really did help me organize my thoughts and ground myself and I truly do appreciate it. right now I’m asking myself why it felt like such a problem earlier and it’s safe to say I’m the one who needed to get out of my head lol, not her. it’s still going to take time to get past her but it’s going to be easier now to recenter myself when it feels like such a big deal.

signed DONAKD J TRUMP the GREAT LEADER of THE country united STATES OF AMARICA hits post, shits pants

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if you quote it and they don’t get it, just go “you suck! you all suck!” and run off at that wicked 45° angle lol

one of my favorite scenes from the show

dude holy shit. that actually explains so much about the smokers in my life. they never got the kind of help they needed because when they needed help people just thought they were lazy/stupid. i bet thats where a lot of their negative self talk stems from too. thanks for the new perspective.