Some random guy criticised me for drinking double espressos in a pub. Said I should drink a real drink. I offered to drink a pint of what he was drinking for every double espresso he drank and we’d see who died first. He didn’t take me up on the offer.

Pack-a-day nespresso drinker

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Been there. A word to the wise: never decided that the best way to avoid multiple walks to the kitchen is to fill a mug with espressos and then drink it at your desk. Colours start to make sounds, everything moves too slowly, you feel a sense of impending doom, and your heart makes a spirited attempt to leave your body.

This has reminded me of the Mormon kids at my highschool who’d talk about how “fucked up” and “high” they’d gotten from drinking eight cans of caffeinated soda at once. Adorably edgy, they were.