Lick

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Self-destruct.

You don’t even need to be a Pokemon to do it. I’ve been succeeding at this move for years.

Sing

I’m ok with napping until I’m disqualified.

Hyper Beam. It’d probably be quick. Or maybe guillotine.

Pound.

Rest.

Goodnight 😪💤

Quick attack after being endeavored by a level 1 ratata holding a focus sash.

Seduce

I probably would end up in limbo getting splashed by Magikarp

Sand Attack

If it’s official moves only, metronome because the randomness would be perfect.

If we’re including custom moves people have created, I would absolutely do my better version of metronome. It’s better because it contains only 1 turn attacking moves in its move pool. Every single one of them, so I’d have just as likely of a chance of being hit by ember as I would oblivion wing or sludge bomb or rock slide.

False Swipe.

If I’m going out, at least break the rules of reality.

Leech seed. Just lay down and go to sleep 🥲