I really do. But there are always obstacles in the way, ruining everything. I can’t remove or avoid them. People say “Nobody is an island” but that’s not true. I am an island. Unable to reach other islands out there, just like they can’t reach me.
I really do. But there are always obstacles in the way, ruining everything. I can’t remove or avoid them. People say “Nobody is an island” but that’s not true. I am an island. Unable to reach other islands out there, just like they can’t reach me.
I know how strange that sounds. When someone told me the same years ago, I was very angry. But later, I realised they were right. It was more comfortable to keep being miserable. At least I knew how it works; it was predictable, well-known, familiar. Being well, feeling happy, trying to see positives… those were things that were unfamiliar. Scary. Who was I if I wasn’t miserable?
Tell me the upsides of being homeless, disabled and broke. I’m curious. But keep in mind I’m not you. I’m not a masochist (I don’t like mental or physical suffering), I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t fancy the stereotypical homeless “freedom” lifestyle.
I’m also waiting for the locations of every cheap public shower in central Europe. Indoor swimming baths obviously don’t count because they are all expensive and people would kick me out as soon as they saw my legs.
I’m not talking about objective “upsides” to your situation. I’m talking about your subjective concept of self. Tell me. How do you see yourself when you’re not miserable? Imagine yourself as happy. What do you see? I’m not here to argue your financial or political situation. I know they suck.
I told you about a possible app, while there are many, that list cheap or free showers and facilities. As I said, I was just on the road for weeks. I know free showers exist. Especially for homeless people. I know of several cities and countries that have shower busses for the homeless. There’s shelters, gyms, gas stations, even some hostels/hotels let you use the shower.
But again, I cannot help you financially or physically or systematically.
The last time I was happy was when I had a job and an apartment where I could pursue my personal projects. I was only mildly disabled back then. The city around me wasn’t full of scum either. It was a completely different society. You could go out and meet new people. Normal people. It was civilized and safe. That was two decades ago.