I really do. But there are always obstacles in the way, ruining everything. I can’t remove or avoid them. People say “Nobody is an island” but that’s not true. I am an island. Unable to reach other islands out there, just like they can’t reach me.
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Looks like Lemmy treats my account as bot account now and shadowbanning me too. A perfect island. Even Lemmy does not allow me any interaction.
What is the obstacle? Can you do anything to remove the obstacles?
Find a quirky hobby, some easy, technical group sport. I met some really good guys this way, I never expected I will meet people irl who likes to speak about Arch Linux. There are a lot people out there similar to you.
Option B: drugs
I’m homeless. I don’t do drugs, I don’t trink alcohol, I don’t gamble. Sometimes I try to make music with my laptop or code a little bit but there’s barely the time and space to do that. Soon the only place where I can sit down with my laptop (University campus) will close as well.
That’s a pretty bad spot to be. But you share this fate with a lot(!) of people. Enough to find common ground for conversation.
Option 2: you be the one initiating connection. Go and help others on the street, share your story, see how many people feel like you
My story is very different from the usual homeless stories, starting with how I became homeless. This alone makes me an island. I tried for over ten years to connect with other homeless but that never worked because we had nothing in common. I sometimes give them patches and a little bit of povidone iodine or I call the ambulance if they’re injured but that’s all I can do. I’m too broke to give them money for anything (Something I used to do before I became homeless myself).
I know I’m not the only one with this story but I can’t find the other islands nor are they able to find me.
You know what I learnt in life now that I’m older? Everyone’s story is very different from the usual. So much so, that it’s hard to know where “usual” comes from. You are making a connection right now with me. It’s not much, but it’s a message in a bottle to your island :)
Also there’s a poetry inside your messages. Maybe try writing your experiences down? As I said, if you start sharing your story, you’ll find so many people who can relate. Maybe there’s a community centre near you or a outreach project. Maybe you want to paint a sign offering street tours. Maybe you want to start busking.
But it feels like it’s very important to your identity to be “an island apart from the other islands”. Everything that’s familiar, even if it’s misery, will be hard to let go. I found that to be true myself as well. I was so focused on feeling miserable that I couldn’t feel better. That would have meant giving up my identity. And that’s scary.
We can keep chatting.
Oh and btw: check your local library for working spots
There is no point in writing the whole story down because nobody would believe it who didn’t suffer the exact same. There isn’t even a place to upload it because it would get taken down immediately (Because it would make a lot of people angry). To speak such a truth I would need the fastest horse in the world but all I got are sore legs.
There’s only one library remaining which still features outlets and it’s overrun by tourists because it’s a historical building so I would only get a maximum of one hour - a noisy hour. I would also need a library card which I can’t get because I have no ID. I ordered a new ID a year ago, by now it’s safe to assume I will never get a new one. Lots of money thrown out of the window.
It sounds like you have way bigger problems you should solve beforehand. Most people don’t like to listen other people’s problems, if you always speak about how bad your life is, it can sound like you begging, and they don’t want to listen to that, it’s annoying. Maybe if other parts of your life become better, you will seem like a different guy.
If you have no home and no friends, you can easily move to another city where there is still an open uni.
I solved all the problems I can solve by myself. I’ve always been a very self-sufficient person. You need to if you grow up in poverty. But for the rest I would need support but there is none. Aside from this post I never speak about my problems because this only results in more problems (like you mentioned). Which means none of the remaining problems can be solved.
I can’t move to another city. I would lose the only source of income permanently, I would lose a place to store my stuff, I wouldn’t even be able to shower anymore because my city is the only one with cheap public showers. And no other university building features outlets which can be used by visitors.
What country are we talking about here? The last two sentences cannot be true about any. I’ve just been on the road for six weeks, there were free showers in many places, especially when there’s tourists about. Get yourself a camping app like Park4night or similar. There you can see facilities.
Not the US, it’s a European country. No apps needed because everything is located in one city. We had more public showers in the past (thanks to monarchy) but most of them are gone now, just like free public toilets and wells.
What Liechtenstein? Luxembourg? I can think of no European country where any of that would seem very likely.
As I said, I think you’re very focussed on your identity as suffering. If you changed any of your circumstances, you maybe wouldn’t suffer anymore, but then you’d lose a part of your comfortable identity.
Explain to me in detail how this can be comfortable to me. Explain to me in detail how I can change my circumstances - without knowing anything about my circumstances.
Didn’t take long until the “Just buy a house bro!” point has been reached.
🫂 sending love my friend.
Have you considered some community events or volunteering? Putting aside the homeless aspect which seems to be the bigger issue you could skill maybe find somewhere that could give you the human interaction and build some skills? Older people often miss having someone to talk to.
I’m banned from volunteering as long as I’m unemployed. The job center would take my only income away because I’m “not fully available to the job market” if I volunteer. Volunteering (just like work) would be impossible anyway because I can’t keep deadlines because I have no control over my sleep schedule. My tent is too close to the city and the noise of people passing by or hanging around makes falling asleep in time impossible. I can’t move my tent further into the woods without a bike which I can’t afford. I can’t walk the extra miles because I’m disabled. I can’t take any sleeping pills because I can’t afford them and I need to be able to fight back in case of an attack.
