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What a strange diagram of some slippers.
I thought way to long about slippers.
I saw loss before I saw anything else, I seriously need to touch grass
When you do that, you’ll feel like you’re recreating the steps of loss, one panel at a time
Bursting through the doors OUTSIDE in a panic.
Looking at some random shocked person pointing toward the park.
Rushing to the park to see grass.
Sobbing uncontrollably feeling all the grass.
(I’m doing this joke from memory instead of looking up the original comic for reference lol)
Why is she standing in front of a blank sheet of paper?
I spent way to much time thinking that was a pink slipper. The first two made sense but then I was lost.
Ditto, I figured it was one of those dance step guides.
Ditto
“They said I could become anything, so I became everything.”
Kind of is.
But not too much. It can get overstimulated if you lift the hood and lick directly. When in doubt, you can hand her the reigns so she can find the sweet spot. For example, if you apply a wide and flat tongue and reduce movement, she can work her hips until she finds the angles she needs.
Oh, that’s what that was…
Took me a minute to figure out what this was. If I ever hook up with a man that has one, I’ll put this info to good use.
What kind of animal just does counter clockwise.
Step 1: inspect
Step 2: push hood up
Step 3: rotate clitoris counterclockwise 360 degrees
Step 4: spin clitoris around central axis left and right.
step 1: bop it
step 2: twist it
step 3: pull it
step 4: find a new partner
Congratulations! You spawned the Hydra in GTA:SA
Open the maintainance hatch, unscrew the old clitoris and swap it out for a new one.
Might as well check the oil while you are at it
For more information check the (wo)man page clit(1)
Or the Arch Wiki
Up up down down left right left right B A B A
If the mouse isn’t going anywhere, either adjust the sensitivity or buy a new nub
quick cheap option is my shameless self insert post here:
https://lemmy.world/post/34593380
(Oh wait… you were talking about that other clit???)
my dumbass trying to figure out why you’d want to rotate your house slippers:
(this is why I’m single isn’t it)
Me too 🤣
Yeah, same. I chalked it up to the homosexuality, but I’m not sure after reading some of the comments.
i have the lesbian flavor of homosexuality you’d think that’d help me realize lol
I showed it to my brother who’s flavored straight vanilla and he didn’t get it, either. I’m glad to know we’re not alone. Lol.
My dumbass thought it was a slipper at first.
Oh. Ohhhh
Also works for slippers.
I thought it was this:
Put your right foot in, take your right foot out. Put your right foot in, and you shake it all about. Do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about
Dancing in your slippers, right?
RIGHT?
First, keep your left foot firmly planted! Cock your right foot up like you’ve seen Michael Jackson do.
Next, spin your left foot around 360 degrees while jiggling your right foot like your heater’s on the fritz!
Ditto. The comments enlightened me.
Thank you.
Huh? I just see a bunch of blue arrows on a blank yellowish square.
Its gotta be somewhere…
Fun fact most girls like when you suck it as well
They do not enjoy when you blow a raspberry onto it, however.
Sucking only. No blowing. Do not reverse the polarity.
I’ve had several positive feedbacks when sliding it between front teeth and tongue. Not to be done immediately, but after she gets going a bit.
Be careful of course. And remember to check your teeth for hair afterwards.
I dunno if I’d be recommending teeth all willy-nilly to potential first time spelunkers…
Yeah teeth is a pro move only
Didn’t seem willy-nilly
Yeah, its more teethy-weethy
I dunno, I feel like recommending teeth in any discussion about oral techniques is a recipe for disaster. Moves like that should be reserved for venerated professionals.
How do you get professional without trying.
Oh, that’s right, you practice on the banana.
The real cheat sheet:
Was doing this on an old girlfriend and she busted out laughing her ass off. WTF?! The guy before me gave her our secrets!
Previous was from a culture with a caligraphic languange.
Ok I’m gonna try hiragana and katakana one day…
“you forgot the R, you halfwit!”
Or she has another girl secret.
Nah, that motherfucker let out even more secrets. And she told me!
One time I fingered her a bit, but my hands up and head her head to kiss her. Laughing her ass off again!
“You’re just checking if it’s safe to go down there!”
Her ex was a traitor to all mankind.
But my hands up and head her head to kiss her.
Wat
You mean you don’t know the classic hands up and head her head to kiss her move?
Remember though, capital letters. Don’t dot the i.
Jeremy Bearimy?
…also j
Lowercase j takes you down to the taint
Wherefore?
I’ve been doing this on a daily basis since I broke my ankle. It’s surprisingly challenging.
I was hoping to cover the fact of this up with a factual, innuaden-lavey way to make this funny by the time I was done typing it, but no, today you just learned something about my routine.
Nice moves!
I can’t help thinking the Cyrillic alphabet would be better suited, though. BRB, have some research to do.
Peter?
clit.
Info guide on how to lick a clit. Top is the clitoral hood, bottom is the clit itself
i thought it was about hour up make slippers fit. amazed how far I was.
Better yet, ask them what feels good, and establish communication of pleasure. Your partner, regardless of genitals, will have a better time, and so will you!
That only works if they actually answer. Sometimes it’s just easier to gauge reactions.
Sometimes they can’t talk coherently *wink wink*
Communication doesn’t need to be verbal - and I’m more talking about setting the precedent for communicating about pleasure as a practice. Being able to communicate about pleasure takes you a lot further in mutual pleasure than having a “trick”, yknow?
Yeah well, you said to ask, while the actual point is “listen” (and “feel”), that is what I meant
Well, even if the other person doesn’t communicate their answer verbally, you can ask verbally :) it is the most direct way to establish an open pathway for communication.
Yeah my problem in the past has been that they may be embarrassed to answer or just not know what to ask for
For sure, but that’s kinds the point in a way, you identify that communication is an issue and you can work on it :3
Completely agree. Communication is the basis of all good relationships and interaction, especially intimate interaction.
