Often, in discussions about old movies, someone will say, “That movie couldn’t be made today.”, and inevitably someone else will disagree.
My highschool physics teacher said the Nazis recorded X-ray video of Holocaust victims knees as they walked. Because MRI machines and other medical imagers aren’t large enough to walk around in, the films are still one of the best sources of how the bones actually move naturally under load in situ surrounded by the connective tissue.
The radiation dose required to expose regular film at 24 frames a second killed the subjects.
I really hope they don’t ever make movies like that again.
unfortunately China took up the mantle on medical torture with the Uyghurs.
Famously, you couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today because they already made that move in the 70s
In 2021 my friend’s roommate said you couldn’t make a movie like Borat these days. I immediately pointed out they made a Borat movie the year before.
I didn’t point this out, but he claimed to be 6’2" while being a few inches shorter than me, and I’m 5’11".
Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. No way would a studio agree to do that much hand-crafted work. They’d just have the stars reacting to a bunch of tennis balls and “fix it in post.”
I think the biggest issue is David Bowe just hanging dong.
His leotard does not hide much in that movie.
No zoom-in necessary.
Cleopatra. There’s no way anyone would release a 4 hour historical drama as a movie. It would be a TV series these days.
They made it twice. We’re overdue for another one.
Some ones I’ve seen recently: Scary Movie. The Witches. Dressed to Kill. Cape Fear.
There is literally a new cape fear movie coming out, with Javier Bardem as Max.
Austin powers. It really didn’t age well, even though it was fairly progressive at the time.
Down Periscope. It is the best and most accurate submarine movie in existence.
“Buckman! There was a fingernail in my food, ya fatass moron! Yesterday, it was a Band-Aid!”
Buckman: “Sorry, sir. The Band-Aid was holding the fingernail on.”
Battle of Britain.
All the old warbirds are in museums now
If you have a Nebula subscription, Lindsay Ellis has a fascinating video about Blazing Saddles and why it really couldn’t be made today, but not for the reasons you’d think; it has more to do with the history of the Western genre and the state of race relations in the US than “political correctness.” I wish she’d put it on Youtube.
So I guess that’s my roundabout answer: any movie that “couldn’t be made today” is probably because of larger social forces than just “too much swearing/violence/nudity/etc.”
No Way Out (1950). Depicts a race riot. At one point a character uses the N word dozens of times in a row uninterrupted. Much of Sidney Poitier’s career would be hard to remake these days. Pressure Point (1962) where he’s a therapist trying to deprogram a Nazi. Maybe that’s exactly what the world needs a remake of right now, but we’re not gonna get it.
Basic Instinct (1992), Body Heat (1981), that sort of thing. They might remake it into a TV show, but they’re not putting that much sex in theaters.
Charlie Chan. A series of detective films about a Chinese detective who was always played by a white guy. Though you could make this movie in 2026, you wouldn’t cast a white person.
Countless movies where the subject matter is painfully out of date. They used to make anti-alcohol pictures when prohibition was a thing. Couldn’t vs. wouldn’t, I guess.
Even if you cast an East Asian actor, i don’t think you could do Charlie Chan films, given how he’s a ” Yellow Peril “ stereotype. Even Marvel had to make their equivalent character a deliberately racist stereotype played by an actor
Pootie Tang.
Sah dah tay, my damie!
Sah Dah Tay!
Say, Sine Yo pity on the Runny Kine
ITT
But seriously, some racist stuff in there would never fly
Richard Pryor helped write the movie. The racists components were intentional as they were period relevant and ripe for mocking
You couldn’t make the sixth sense either, because people would already know the ending.
EVERYthing made by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buster_Keaton
We’ve got laws, now, against the insane shit they did on-set, back then…
Lives were too-cheap, back then…
_ /\ _
One of his stunts literally broke his neck.
He was told by his doctor about it 9 years later.Agree, but the problem with doing it today would be they couldn’t get insurance to cover it.
Blazing Saddles.
Probably the Blue Brothers, but for different reasons. I feel like most of the blues legends are gone.
I watched this recently. I agree it couldn’t be made the same, but it amazes me how many people miss the point. The racists were the ones we were supposed to laughing at, not with.
I think people laugh at the racists for different reasons. Some because they are ridiculous, others because they are saying what the people wish they could.
A lot of the blues legends are gone and a large number of Americans would be upset that they hate Illinois Nazis.
Also used cars cost wayy too much these days.
Yeah they would get sued to oblivion. Fucking copyright law.
Also; most of the actors are dead.
Also you’d need to revive the Bolivian cocaine industry to 1980’s levels.
Blazing saddles was (loosely) remade in 2022 as paws of fury
Sorry about the “up yours, slobber face.” You will of course have the decency not to tell anyone I talked to you?
Idk. It would have to be a REALLY loose adaptation.
I take your meaning but it is a remake and Mel Brooks is involved so…
Yeah I think it’s cool. I’ll have to give it a watch.
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