Honestly so happy I’m married, I’m sorry for all of y’all. Dystopian times.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
At the same time, porn and propaganda have put bad expectations in some percentile of dumb men.
Both sexes are generally out of social practice, and societal trust is at an all time low. Most people are nice, but most people are also awkward.
So get out there and meet some people, don’t even do so romantically, just go learn how to interact with people, form some friendships.
came back to this thread to find discourse that ISN’T cancer. thank you for your sane and gentle response. if more people had your empathy, less of them would be single and hurting.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
This is the case with literally everything.
Used to hear about “no-go zones” in Stockholm in my local news a lot, areas where even the Swedish police were afraid to go in to. Then a friend of mine moved to Stockholm and started going to “the worst no-go zone” every weekend to get fresh produce. The only time he felt in danger was when he stumbled upon a drunk countryman.
Going out nowadays doesn’t work anymore. Things have changed dramatically in the last few decades.
Well what defines going out? There are plenty of board game meet ups, even if you don’t especially like board games I would posit that it’s not an objectively negative experience; so if you must hold you nose and go anyway, do so.
Secondly, although this is coming from my experience in America, so your millage may vary, there’s tons of outdoor activities and groups: go for a hike, go backpacking.
You don’t need special equipment, you don’t need to buy anything. Just a water bottle, backpack, tent/tarp, and some non perishable foods and you’re good to go.
It’s true that the convenient third places of yesterday have seemingly vanished; but people are still out there.
I used to hike a lot but these days it’s incredibly difficult to find people to hike with, they’re usually at least twenty years older than me and not in the best shape anymore which rules out difficult routes. And everywhere else there are masses of stupid tourists and influencers stumbling around in their flip-flops (Because of course you wear flip-flops in the alps!), throwing trash everywhere and yelling into their smartphones when filming themselves which ruins the experience. Board and card game groups also died out in the early 2010s, that was just a short hype. A lot of things disappeared without replacement.
Hmm well I can’t speak for Europe, but plenty of chill people to go hiking with in the US, plus it might not be the most challenging stuff maybe but I’ve hiked out of the grand canyon with my friends 70 yo grandma so if you want the social aspect you can still do challenging things just maybe go a little slower. Also again don’t know about Europe but there are like five weekly board game meetups in my decent sized city.
Isn’t the Grand Canyon also overrun with tourists and influencers?
Man you seem to be very negative about this.
I guarantee you that most tourists don’t even leave the rim of the grand canyon at all. They walk around the visitors center for an hour and go home. Go more than 1000’ down from the rim and it’s not particularly crowded at all.
I can’t comment on Europe, like the previous poster—America has far more wide open wilderness than Europe does in general—but if in the USA there are still countless places where you can backpack for days without seeing a single person. There are also plenty of easier hikes with beautiful views that only see a few visitors a day. Just need to put in the footwork to find them. You won’t find them by staying at home and complaining about other hikers.
That sounds great, I would love to see the Grand Canyon. But here in the alps - you have no idea. It’s ridiculous, there is so much overtourism now, it literally exploded in the last ten years. Now I try to find new areas far away from those people. I wished I had access to one of those ISP maps showing statistics about connected devices. But insects work too, the more insects you encounter, the further you are from “civilization”.
The GRAND Canyon is… actually, very, very, VERY Grand.
It’s a huge place, bigger than any I’ve ever experienced before or since. Considering it “overrun” with… anything would be quite a feat. You could fill it with everyone in America and you’d still have space left over for two or three California Condors.
The alps are not exactly small either. But somehow you keep running into tourists and influencers constantly.
I mean I used to wear flip flops hiking all the time but I’m guessing you mean a different type since I would wear them transitioning between land and water without losing them.
This is what I’m talking about. You don’t go there hiking with flip-flops or sneakers. Or in shorts. Or without emergency bivouac. Or without checking the weather report first. A clear blue sky can turn pitch black in less than twenty minutes with huge temperature drops. People are so out of touch with nature nowadays, they completely underestimate how rough conditions can get. And they’re too lazy to do a just little bit of research.
Hobby clubs are great for meeting new people, just don’t join them for the explicit purpose of meeting potential partners.
Going out to talk with people is now impossible because everyone busy for themselves .
I wholeheartedly refute the assertion this comic makes that the word ‘lock’ is onomatopoeic.
I was lucky enough to meet my SO before online dating became the norm.
I’m just not equipped to navigate something like that.
I feel like being eternally single and lonely would be easier than having to encounter the constant rejection.
Wow, this comment section is a nightmare
Men looking for women as romantic partners is like searching for potable water in a desert.
When looking for men as romantic partners is like searching for potable water in a SWAMP.
Think you mean ocean, you can get very clean water from bogs
Reminds me of a story. Four scientists, all male, on an expedition in Antarctica, far from any other human being. They set up camp, establish the data link to sync their email, and one of them gets an email spam of the sort “hot women in your area”. The next human female was several hundred kilometers away…
This is kind of like how parents don’t let their kids play out anymore because the news told us it’s all pedophiles out there.
Yeah, all the pedophiles are in the church and government.
Yep, that’s just how it is these days. Let me ask though, does it really matter?
If the girls are afraid of the guys, that’s their problem, not yours. Stick the time into something else you enjoy, let nature run it’s course. Find a job you don’t hate, spend your money as you like, live a happy life without the anxiety of rejection.
does it really matter?
Does a dysfunctional society matter?
Fun fact, by doing the above, you’ll end up meeting women who don’t feel that way and are relationship material, and plenty of acquaintances who think you “don’t count” because you’re “one of the good ones”.
who think you “don’t count” because you’re “one of the good ones”.
Oh that’s cool, I know a lot of black people like that.
“Wait what? Wdym that’s racist? But I should accept ‘one of the good ones’ when it applies to me? I’m too ND for this bullshit.”
That’s why they’re acquaintances, rather than friends. I agree with your assessment. I can’t consider someone a friend who assumes I’m a piece shit until proven otherwise because of my immutable characteristics. Tangentially, I also can’t consider someone a friend who thinks hell is real and that a perfectly just god will send me there. Needless to say I have a small but close friend circle.
You either accept being one of the good ones or you end up being one of the bad ones.
And me saying that to black people when they get mad I said they’re one of the good ones isn’t racist? 'Cause…
You can’t change other people. You can’t change society. You can’t change human nature. All you can do is to work with what the world gives you. All you can do is to adjust yourself. So you accept the sexism and racism and classism and ageism etc and find workrounds to make it through somehow to hopefully end up being mostly perceived as one of the good ones. Making lemonade out of the lemons life gives you. Screaming at the world to give you oranges will only cause the world to stop giving you lemons and then you have no more lemonade and a sore throat too.
When god gives you lemons you find a new god.
you’ll end up meeting women
Do I want to?
I’m posing a broader question about society to clarify a general concern with no particular motivation, and you make it about meeting women. That suggests something about assumed motivations in these discussions.
Huh? This literally what the meme is about and you are having a discussion in it’s comment section beneath?
The comic may be and so may the comment I was replying to. The question, however, isn’t: people may have more on their minds than the pursuit of women, eg, the state of humanity.
Moreover, the comic is about multiple things. The man sees an invitation to meet women. The woman sees a warning.
It makes as much sense to ask about this discrepancy, messages, norms.
Not overly much - society has “dysfunctioned” along perfectly well for millennia. It will continue to be dysfunctional for many more millennia.
Better to enjoy your life and spite that dysfunction than to live under its heel.
We’re finally approaching some twisted semblance of equality via men becoming afraid of women in return ._.
Men who took the lesson to heart:
Ladies don’t want to talk to you.
They don’t want you to approach them.
They don’t want you to initiate social interaction.
Men need to be less visible, less audible, overall less perceptible, because this coincides with them being less obnoxious.Instead of teaching them to act in less obnoxious ways, society taught them to act less–period.
And so, I now see unironic posts showing up on social media of women asking each other (paraphrased),
“Why don’t men ever talk to me anymore?”
“Why don’t men ever approach me anymore?”
“Even when I see men in public, they never even acknowledge me. Why are they ignoring me? What is going on?”A lot of folks heard the pleas of women wishing men would just leave them alone. And a fair proportion of the men acquiesced.
I mean, yeah, SOME didn’t, and became even more obnoxious, but the chronically unfuckable bootlicking simps of the fascist grift are more miserable now than they’ve ever been; The few that “seem” “successful” are just poster children of survivorship bias, pied pipers leading the naive and highly suggestible to self-inflicted ruin.
I have divested myself of this bizarre tragedy of errors. Humans are humans. I treat humans like humans. If other people project weird freaky intentions upon me while I’m JUST trying to mind my own gods damned business existing within line of sight and vague proximity, that’s THEIR skill issue. AT LEAST nonbinary asexual persons never get weird at me like the ones vested in all the maladaptive notions and festooned in toxic stereotypes… and it’s refreshing. Good riddance to all the outdated reproductive caste dynamics. Good riddance to the gilded cage of having to drag-perform whatever the fuck I was assigned at birth.
I’ve seen a lot of posts, articles etc with women making those exact complaints, and I always find them rather sad.
It’s been made very clear that the majority of women don’t want to be approached most of the time, especially by someone they don’t know, and that’s fair enough. You need to accept that you’re the outlier.
The bitterly ironic part is that the men who took that to heart are the GOOD men, you know those that actually respect women and their wishes.
The asshole men, don’t give a shit and keep wearing red hats and calling women FEMALES.
The whole movement has backfired hard and made it harder for women to find nice guys 😐
Ladies don’t want to talk to you. They don’t want you to approach them. They don’t want you to initiate social interaction. Men need to be less visible, less audible, overall less perceptible, because this coincides with them being less obnoxious.
And that is correct. This is how you manage to appear less obnoxious and threatening as a man. This is how you seperate yourself from the predators and machos. It also helps men avoiding problematic women as well. It’s a win-win.
So to meet women, never talk to them or look at them or even think about them, got it, sounds effective.
Give women space and limit yourself to reactions if they approach you. Always assume they’re not interested. Do not approach them, that’s predatory behavior.
Be seen but not heard, got it.
Just avoid behavior that is associated with predatory types. Imagine a spectrum with one extreme being “I couldn’t care less” and the other being “I’m going to chase you”. Choose the center. Civil and slightly friendly but not let’s-be-friends friendly. Like a coworker you don’t know and who works in a different department but you see each other sometimes. Be friendly enough to not make things awkward if you meet again. The rest is up to the woman.
Tbh I’ll prob just stick with my tried and true awkward white guy smile-nod. There’s people that have been working in shipping for months I’ve never even spoken to (oddly though they’re all guys, the women talk a lot and they’re mostly funny.)
Here’s the thing, you man-hater. Men are considered sub-humans just for existing
UPDATE: Yup people love misandry. Until it affects them personally
…
Okay I’m gonna pop off a hot take that I have no intention of defending but it has raised interesting conversation in the past:Yes, men are in fact inferior, and I say this not because I particularly like it, but because the way masculinity manifests in mammals is through the y chromosome acting not like a legitimate whole instruction set in itself, but rather more like a “patch” or, to put it in colloquial terms, “DLC”: DownLoadable Content does not work without the base game, and the y-chromosome cannot function without an x-chromosome.
An egg is fertilized XY and the Y is completely non-functional? Congratulations: this clump of cells will develop into a sapient individual whom is intersex but appears entirely feminine.
An egg is fertilized XY and the X is completely non-functional? This clump of cells will never develop into a person. At most it will be ejected as a miscarriage.
Male mammals are derivative knockoffs of the default (female) template that exist to perform dangerous functions that enhance the survivability of a population at large at the expense of individual survival and prosperity. They are hormonally predisposed to aggressively occupy, hold, and defend territory, and get killed sacrificially in conflict while the rest of the specimen’s family group can either hide or escape to continue the gene line without them.
And again - I’m describing it like this NOT because I particularly like it or agree with it or think it’s ideal! It kinda sucks actually. But accepting this has helped me to better recognize the pitfalls of nature and step around them. I can’t even begin to list all the many BRUH MOMENTS I’ve avoided by realizing internally, “wait a darn minute, is this… DUDE BEHAVIOR? Eew! I don’t need this conflict! I’m being argumentative for stupid illogical hormone-driven reasons, so I’m going to stop now, reassess the counter arguments because they might have been right all along, and maybe apologize before I end up going to prison for stabbing someone over a stupid verbal disagreement.”
I invite any and all to wipe the floor with me using facts and evidence though, and maybe I’ll learn some cool stuff along the way. But this is the hypothesis I’ve been running with just fine for years.
Also, fun fact, birds are kind of the opposite! They have ZZ and ZW hormones where the feminine reproductive caste is the changing variable!
Does making lemonade out of the lemons life gives you make you hate oranges? No.
I rather throw those lemons back & watch you make lemonade.
Thanks!
if girls are afraid of guys, that’s my problem
I understand you but I want to continue being grossed out by the idea of people thinking I am a rapist. Purely because I don’t want to be desensitized to this subject.
Single X in my area. Uses the plural form.
Well, which is it?!??
Took me longer than I’d care to admit.
Sweet! More gamers!
Women who fall into this category aren’t even in the dating pool.
He goes off and gets laid. She stays at home. Looks like everything works out. What’s everyone arguing about? Both characters get exactly what they’re signing up for, unless we have some users on Lemmy who really need to touch grass and realize that not every chick is locking their door lmao.
How come str8s don’t consult with their local LGBTQ+ friendos? I like playing matchmaker.
Gotta have local friendos first…
(cries in very high cost of living, old rich people area)
Because it doesn’t work. It’s already bad enough with straight people doing it.
Because with the possible exception of the bi’s, you’re all inherently unqualified for the job of setting up a heterosexual relationship. Why don’t you ask straight men to pick out sweaters? Because we’re bad at it at an anatomical level.
Can I share this in !Womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone or !witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
Of course. It’s not mine, cross post/share away!
Awesome thanks 😊
And don’t forget to tell the other girls we said hi. 🤭
Sure, why not?
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Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Honestly I don’t see what makes chasing after women so special, you men have better things to do in your lives.
So go out there & enjoy your hobbies. Stop wasting your time with this nonsense & trust me; you men will still be hated but at least you’ll be educated.
Chasing is only fun for predators. That’s why it’s such a frustrating and unfulfilling experience for the majority of men.
Chasing is fun, if you do it right.
Go out, learn some new hobbies, try new things. Make a point to at least try some things you don’t like. Make new friends, and you’ll probably find someone who is equally happy to find you. The chase can be fun, but don’t chase a person, chase happiness, run with the pack, and find the one who is running with you.
Sharing hobbies is not what I would call chasing, that’s just basic social skills. Chasing is pretty much all the pick-up artist stuff. But honestly, I find people of today extremely boring, especially young people. The most complex hobby they have is doing workout to look fit and even that is done on a very superficial level. Nobody makes art anymore or is into philosophy or psychology. It’s all just about consuming memes and TikTok slop or pretending to be creative by using AI or joining the current virtue signaling/slacktivism hypetrain on social media. That’s why I prefer to talk to older people, you can sit down with them in a café and talk for hours about plenty of topics without ever looking at a smartphone. But it’s not easy to find them, they don’t go out much either for similar reasons. Society has changed a lot in the last decades and all I can do is to accept that and cherish those rare occasions.
New generations aren’t required to appreciate the culture of older generations.
Frankly, I think the half-perm half macklemore high sided buzzcut fuccboi look is dumb, and it makes people look like pomped up poodles, but they aren’t getting those haircuts to be attractive to millennials. I imagine this is what my parents thought when every guy in my generation had spiked hair with bleached tips… So let them be alien to you, it’s totally normal. You don’t have to understand, but you should give them space to be themselves.
We didn’t have much better haircuts back then either. But we had more diversity. This is also one of those things I miss, the countless subcultures which led to interesting social dynamics. When was the last time you saw punks and hip hop enjoyers partying together in a park?
I’m not trying to take space away from young people by any means. I actually tried the opposite. It didn’t work and I moved on.
When was the last time you saw punks and hip hop enjoyers partying together in a park?
Never, but that’s because I spent most of my youth playing video games, or running around in the woods hitting my siblings with sticks.
or is into philosophy or psychology
That makes people fun?
I find people of today extremely boring, especially young people
I think you should take a look at yourself before you call a generation that is experiencing the highest cost of living in modern history, boring.
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That makes people fun?
Yes, talking to people about something deeper than “lol, look at this meme” is fun.
I think you should take a look at yourself before you call a generation that is experiencing the highest cost of living in modern history, boring.
WTF does one have to do with the other…? Are you suggesting that people have zero interests outside of social media because of high cost of living?
You do realise that libraries are free? That getting a used guitar will cost you all of $50? That getting a pencil and a notebook to start drawing will be, what, $5? Oh yeah, you can even get a pencil for free at an Ikea.
Computers and music instruments are ridiculously cheap compared to the eighties and nineties. I had to build stuff with broken parts I found in trash (like everybody else who wasn’t rich so the majority of users) and still managed to make much better music with all that Frankenstein equipment than the average young AI slop “artist” of today. And you’re also proving my point regarding philosophy and psychology or anything else that needs more than a few seconds to process. Fits perfectly with studies about declining attention spans.
Predators like you.
You are the epitome of “Look ladies, I’m your one true good man” energy.
UPDATE: Ooof a quick dislike huh, maybe I touched a nerve
Yeah, I know. I’ve been called a rapist for refusing to have sex with women several times. Because that’s what predators do.
But then women start asking me if I’m gay, wtf is wrong with me and why am I so full of myself whenever I don’t want to date and enjoy solitude
Don’t even think about going there, they’ll kidnap you and sell you for your organs, if not worse, it’s not worth it.
